Most of us would avoid a full-blown fight with fists flying and abuse being hurled if we could, yet we often exist in ‘fight mode’ in our relationships, even when it doesn’t look that way on the outside.

Fists may not be flying, but in our hearts and our minds, we are preparing to fight and just like a boxer entering the ring we are acutely aware of our partner’s moves — especially the ones that provoke us even when we are not sure why. And I don’t mean physically violent moves. That is a different story.

I am talking…


I remember it like it was yesterday, the moment I felt the power of the word “sorry”.

As soon as it came out of my mouth, the tension in the room melted, my heart warmed to a glow and my husbands’ face softened enough for me to see the sadness behind the anger that had flared only seconds before. He then lent towards me and said softly “it’s OK”, like he really meant it and gave my hand a squeeze before quietly leaving the room.

I was dumbfounded. Could it really be that simple? …

Maya Vaughan

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